You know who you are. I'm betting your loved ones will be getting you this for Christmas, er Channukah.
I am a performance artist. My media are juxtaposition, irony, and oxymoron. Hyperbole is my stage and apparent non sequitors are the nearly ubiquitous impetuses. I hope you enjoy it. If you don't, refer your concerns to the complaint department. If you're under 18 and reading this with a parent, congratulations on such a smart parent; otherwise, go away. You've been warned.
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