US Bank == SHIT

2 bit fucking shysters.


Warning: this post is not funny. Or pleasant. Or really informative. Don't bother to read it. It's a waste of your time.


Check back later and maybe I'll have posted the more congenial vent I had planned about society's ridiculous prejudices on crime.

I got a divorce. Over a year ago. We separated the bank accounts. Over a year ago.

A couple of months later, she calls, "Hey. I'm still on the account. I don't like it. You need to handle it."

I call. They tell me I can't do anything about it: she has to do it. I tell her that. She call them. They tell her I have to do it. I go into a branch. They say it's taken care of. She calls me a couple of months later, "I'm still on the account."

It's like that fucking nightmare where she's pregnant and keeps taking the RU-486 pill, but testing positive. It won't die.

For close to a year now the scenario is: US bank tells her she's on it; tells me she's not.

This month she calls and tells me she closed it. I immediately call the bank (fuckers) and they assure me that nothing's changed and they have no idea what she's talking about. Lying FUCKERS!

I go on about my life.

Today: that account is gone.

*Poo-motherfucking-oof!*

Like that.

I've been banking there since 1993. I've only ever had a bank account at one other bank. Fuck 'em. If they do not reinstate for me immediately upon phoning them, they're done with my measly middle class income. I'll take it somewhere else. All $2000 in my accounts. That'll show those fuckers at UnitedShitheads Bank.






FUCKING FUCKERS.

Stupid CAPSLOCK!