Clothing optional, but not recommended.

These are the most difficult brownies I've ever made. These brownies are not for the cooking lazy. They have more to them than is reasonable, in terms of steps and processes.

That being said, to my knowledge, so far no one has been convicted of non-consensual relations due to chocolate based inebriation and these brownies taste delicious while having the excellent effect of lowering females' (of the human species) inhibitions. This, if exploited properly, means they will take their clothes off for you without having to add alcohol. This may help those of us with ulcers, or fear of jail lovin', looking for la petit mort a deux (or trois).

Absolutely, undeniably, totally, and with great (platonic) love, and not for financial gain, appropriated from Alton Brown (the most entertaining cook on TV or in a book).

Ingredients:

THE CHOCOLATE
Cocoa powder: 1 1/3 cups (113 grams/4 ounces)
All-purpose flour: 2/3 cup (99 grams/3-1/2 ounces), sifted
Kosher salt: 1/2 teaspoon (3 grams/less than 1/8 ounce)

THE WET WORKS
Eggs: 4 large (200 grams/7 ounces)
Vanilla extract: 2 teaspoons (9 grams/1/3 ounce)
Sugar: 1 cup (198 grams/7 ounces), sifted
Brown sugar: 1 cup (227 grams/8 ounces), sifted
Unsalted butter: 2 sticks (1 cup/227 grams/8 ounces), melted


Processes:

Place an oven rack in position C and preheat the oven to 350°F. Prepare an 8-inch aluminum baking pan (see pages 180-183).

Note from Brainweevil: You really should read I'm Just here for MORE FOOD. Until then, position C is second from the top an one prepares a pan for brownies by greasing it and coating the grease in cocoa powder. As you were.

Sift together the dry ingredients in the food processor.

In an electric stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, whip the eggs at medium speed until light (both in texture and color). Add the vanilla.

Mix the sugars together, reduce the mixer speed to 30-percent power, and add the sugars to the eggs, incorporating thoroughly.

Add the butter and remaining dry ingredients in three alternating doses, starting with the wet and finishing with the dry. Fold in the nuts.

Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 55 to 60 minutes. Check for doneness with the tried-and-true toothpick method: a toothpick inserted into the center of the pan should come out clean.

Remove the pan to a cooling rack and resist the temptation to cut until the brownies are completely cool. When ready, cut into squares with a pizza cutter.

Yield: Sixteen 2-inch square brownies

How to tell if you're doing it wrong

1) Send the title link to your lover
2) Wait
3) Wait
4) Wait
5) If you are still waiting, don't despair - they may not have seen the link, yet.
6) Wait
7) Wait
8) Receive your results:
a) If they never reply, you're doing it wrong and they are too nice (or chicken,
or uninterested)to tell you.
b) If they reply "Yeah, the internet is cool.", you're doing it wrong.
c) If they decry the polled as loonies, you're doing it OK.
If they reply "No, that's just wrong.", you're doing it well enough.
If they reply "Well, that used to be true, but not since I found you.", call all of your friends and tell them you "Rock the cock!"
This statement works for both sexes. Trust me, I date a doctor.

TIMMY!

Now TIMMY! no longer has to avoid this school.







Personal protection is his!




Let's just hope he doesn't use it on Jimmy (Look it up for yourself).

Weevil wept.

You gotta be kidding me!

Rock Band DLC for this week is all Nickolodeon pseudo-music. What crap!

Uh... let us join in the Commemoration of St Barbara, virgin (bet you can't prove it)/martyr (yep)

In case you're too lazy (or wary) to click on the title link, she's the patron saint of artillerymen. I used to be one of those for a couple of years.

Also, it's the fourth of December and this is my fourth post.

After this post, anything seems funny to me. For a while. Quick, someone tell me a joke. Promise I'll laugh, just put it in the comments.

Horrible pedophiles!

For my dear, dear photographer friend and, to a lesser extent Zombie and Thumper (applied, yet? Closes on Friday.) and (dare I say it?) Epiphany. Those were some sweet nights that really helped me feel better when I needed a hand up. As opposed to a hand out. Damn you politics and nostalgia! Creeping into my fun post.




Plucked from endotoxin.

If you don't get it, for the love of God, don't click here.


So, so, so funny. Still laughing out loud.

Crap. Someone stop me.

Don't click that! For Captain Kabuki Man's sake, you cannot handle it.

My wyvern doctor is looking at me askance. She never does that. Although it is kinda like old times to have someone looking at me like I'm crazy.

Am I the only person who didn't know?

So I stumbled into a conversation about where it is and is not permissible to carry a concealed weapon today. Sample exchange:

A, "You can't carry in any government buildings... or schools... or anyplace they serve alcohol."

B, "So I can't carry it to the movies?"

A, "er... no. I mean yes. They don't serve alcohol at the movies."

C, "Dude, you're starting to scare me. [with all your talk of carrying a gun]"

A, "Dude. You can't carry here [at work]."

B, "Yeah, but I could keep it in my car until C gets off work and then be like, 'Dude, wanna go see a movie?'"

A,(and me, simultaneously) "No."

A, "Can't have it in your car here, either."

At this point I was done using the nuke box and made my exit before my IQ drained any more. Kudos to A for trying to educate B, I knew he was an idiot when we interviewed him.

So, while I ate my lunch, I read the RCW's on firearms. Yeah, I'm that much of a nerd, so?

I found that those things "commonly known as 'nun-chuk-as' are not legal to carry on school property.

And that you and I cannot carry a weapon into AppleBee's, but the nitwit who brings you your Tequila Sunrise can. Think about that the next time you think you want to complain that your "steak" is cooked like horse meat... er, incorrectly.

The next time I saw A, I told him this and he says, "Yeah", like I'm an idiot for not knowing.

So I tried another guy. He knew, too.

Eventually one guy said, "Nope, didn't know that. Did you know that kids eat for free on Sunday's at Hooters?"

The point is: I'm never going to AppleBee's again. Do you have any idea how dangerous a gun is in the hands of an idiot? Even a college educated, millionaire one?

Meet me at Hooters for wings and boobs on Sunday? I mean, really, where are they going to conceal a pistol that I won't notice it? Oh, right. On the manager.

I don't believe, but I love people who do

Not for all... in a different way than usual.