Clothing optional, but not recommended.

These are the most difficult brownies I've ever made. These brownies are not for the cooking lazy. They have more to them than is reasonable, in terms of steps and processes.

That being said, to my knowledge, so far no one has been convicted of non-consensual relations due to chocolate based inebriation and these brownies taste delicious while having the excellent effect of lowering females' (of the human species) inhibitions. This, if exploited properly, means they will take their clothes off for you without having to add alcohol. This may help those of us with ulcers, or fear of jail lovin', looking for la petit mort a deux (or trois).

Absolutely, undeniably, totally, and with great (platonic) love, and not for financial gain, appropriated from Alton Brown (the most entertaining cook on TV or in a book).

Ingredients:

THE CHOCOLATE
Cocoa powder: 1 1/3 cups (113 grams/4 ounces)
All-purpose flour: 2/3 cup (99 grams/3-1/2 ounces), sifted
Kosher salt: 1/2 teaspoon (3 grams/less than 1/8 ounce)

THE WET WORKS
Eggs: 4 large (200 grams/7 ounces)
Vanilla extract: 2 teaspoons (9 grams/1/3 ounce)
Sugar: 1 cup (198 grams/7 ounces), sifted
Brown sugar: 1 cup (227 grams/8 ounces), sifted
Unsalted butter: 2 sticks (1 cup/227 grams/8 ounces), melted


Processes:

Place an oven rack in position C and preheat the oven to 350°F. Prepare an 8-inch aluminum baking pan (see pages 180-183).

Note from Brainweevil: You really should read I'm Just here for MORE FOOD. Until then, position C is second from the top an one prepares a pan for brownies by greasing it and coating the grease in cocoa powder. As you were.

Sift together the dry ingredients in the food processor.

In an electric stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, whip the eggs at medium speed until light (both in texture and color). Add the vanilla.

Mix the sugars together, reduce the mixer speed to 30-percent power, and add the sugars to the eggs, incorporating thoroughly.

Add the butter and remaining dry ingredients in three alternating doses, starting with the wet and finishing with the dry. Fold in the nuts.

Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 55 to 60 minutes. Check for doneness with the tried-and-true toothpick method: a toothpick inserted into the center of the pan should come out clean.

Remove the pan to a cooling rack and resist the temptation to cut until the brownies are completely cool. When ready, cut into squares with a pizza cutter.

Yield: Sixteen 2-inch square brownies