What's wrong with me?

You would think that, in light of the seasonal mammary explosion on campus if nothing else, I would be more appreciative of casual dating in the new millennium.

Yeah, it's new to me, at least the dating part. Is this the first post here you've read? Don't start here. It's not the beginning. Go back to start and wait for Simon to say it's OK to begin reading.

Take, for instance, the thick little thing that passes me each day on my way back to my vehicle after class: Long, blond hair (I'm a sucker for long hair). 5', maybe. (and short girls)145 ish. Looks to be all muscle, it's easy to see, because I think she must spray her clothes on each morning. Think "1/3 scale volleyball star", add huge... tracts of land, and you'll have kind of the right idea.

Today she tackled me in the grass outside the library. If you know me, this seemed like she'd asked the Boom what she could do to spark some interest from me. As she was talking, and picking up her books, I realized I could very nearly see the back of her skull through her pretty little eyes. How do people that... vapid make it into a college? I know it's a community college, but still...

Now, I have some experience with pretty eyes. Come to think of it, I must be attracted to them, since all of the women I've ever been in love with have this as a common attribute. Apparently, I can save myself (and some lucky girls) a bunch of time on wasted short term relationships by just sifting those with less than beautiful eyes out.

It seems to me that they do not need to be attached to... well, nothing, I guess. they can be connected directly to a quick wit. Or a sharp analytical mind. Or a deeply philosophical brain. Or an encyclopedic knowledge of Monty Python. Or a slim volume of poetry.

So, rather than contemplating ways in which to make myself invaluable to this girl, I found myself being thankful for the women in my life who are intelligent. I barely had time to acknowledge this poor, confused creature before I was completely absorbed with this thought.

Why couldn't the Boom have been there to deflect her to? I think the cosmos really has it in for that guy.