Go on... preach, preach.

"I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like O.J., cutting everybody's throat. You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife … I totally understand O.J. I get it."
-- Professional wrestler Hulk Hogan

The Curious Case of Brad Pitt

Watching 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button':

I said, "I had no idea Benjamin Button would be such a ladies' man."

The boy responded, "It is Brad Pitt."

Football, again

Brett Favre knows that cock punches slow pass rushers down like nothing else. That's why they call him a wily old vet.


What's with the penalties? We're trying to unleash hell here!

Tom Powers

... if it weren't for that consecutive-game streak, I'd say send him to Hawaii for a week and let him cool out. Let Favre throw a pass or two and then yank him quicker than the Vikings dumped their partnership with the Metropolitan Sports Facilities Commission. Never mind the score, get him out of there. Play Tarvaris Jackson or Sage Rosenfels, or bring back Ron Vander Kelen. But chain Favre to the bench.

after the article is this disclaimer:

The Pioneer Press is happy to host community conversations about news and life in the Twin Cities. As hosts, we expect guests will show respect for each other. That means we don't threaten or defame each other, and we keep conversations free of personal attacks. Witty is great. Abusive is not. If you think a post violates these standards, don't escalate the situation. Instead, flag the comment to alert us. We'll take action if necessary.

It's not hard. This should be a place where people want to read and contribute -- a place for spirited exchanges of opinion. So those who persist with racist, defamatory or abusive postings risk losing the privilege to post at all.

Wouldn't it be nice if the whole world could get just a little closer to living by those words?

That's odd.

A dome team has the third best NFL record (over the last decade) in road games played in December and January.

This runs counter to every preconception of dome teams. Trust me, I live with a doctor.

"If you ever want some tips from an old veteran about really wrapping the media around your finger, you give me a call, OK?"

"I can't take Cutler anymore. I just want to lie down and die."

140 private jets and 1,200 limos(at the climate summit).

From Gregg Easterbrook:

As the Copenhagen climate summit grinds on with -- big surprise! -- nothing specific agreed upon, here's my summary of what you need to know about the global warming issue, bearing in mind yours truly is the author of an 800-page book about environmental policy (that book was so fast-paced, it only seemed like 700 pages):

• There is indeed a strong scientific consensus regarding climate change. The deniers simply aren't honest about this.

• The consensus is that in the last century, air has warmed by about one degree Fahrenheit while the oceans have warmed a little and become slightly acidic; rainfall patterns have changed in some places, and most though not all ice melting has accelerated.

• That consensus is significant, but hardly means there is a crisis. Glaciers and sea ice, for example, have been in a melting cycle for thousands of years, while air warming has so far been good for farm yields. The doomsayers simply aren't honest about how mild the science consensus is.

• Predictions of global devastation -- climate change is a "profound emergency" that will "ravage our planet" -- are absurd exaggerations, usually motivated by political or fund-raising agendas.

• Climate change has serious possible negative consequences, especially if rainfall shifts away from agricultural regions.

• Global poverty, disease, dirty air and lack of clean water in developing world cities and lack of education are far higher priorities than greenhouse gas emissions.

• Smog and acid rain turned out to be far cheaper to control than predicted; the same may happen with greenhouse gases.

• The United States must regulate greenhouse gases in order to bring American brainpower, in engineering and in business, to bear on the problem.

• A carbon tax, not some super-complex cap-and-trade scheme that mainly creates jobs for bureaucrats and lawyers, would be the best approach.

• If the United States invents technology to control greenhouse gases, no super-complex international treaty will be needed. Nations will adopt greenhouse controls on their own, because it will be in their self-interest to do so. Smog and acid rain are declining almost everywhere, though are not governed by any international treaty; nations have decided to regulate smog and acid rain emissions on their own, because it is in their self-interest to do so.

As for the e-mails hacked from a greenhouse research center in the United Kingdom, e-mails are private correspondence. Copying them without permission is at the least unethical, and perhaps a crime. If you saw private letters on someone's desk, photocopied them and posted them on the Web, you would be considered a person of low character. Whoever hacked the climate e-mails is at the very least an unethical person of low character, and one should be wary of the agendas of unethical people.

That said, many climate scientists are rigidly ideological and believe dissent must be shouted down. This is partly because of money and privilege. The United States and European Union spend about $6 billion annually on climate change research, and every penny goes to alarmism, because it can be used to justify government expansion. Being a climate doomsayer is a path to cash and tenure -- even to celebrity, as making wildly exaggerated claims got Al Gore a Noble Prize plus stock in companies now winning government subsidies triggered by alarmism. The doomsayers are lauded by foundations, go to parties with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and attend taxpayer-subsidized conferences in Nice. They've formed a guild with intense focus on maintaining guild structure. The 1962 Thomas Kuhn book "The Structure of Scientific Revolutions" is best-known for introducing the "paradigm shift" concept. Kuhn's larger argument was that science is not an abstract truth-seeking realm, rather, subject to fads and what is now called political correctness, and one in which many scientists are concerned foremost with safeguarding their sinecure by toeing the line.

Plus the alarmists need to divert attention from the inconvenient truth that 20 years ago, Gore and James Hansen of NASA began to say that without immediate drastic action against greenhouse gases, there would soon be global calamities. Nothing was done -- and no problem so far. That is no reason to be complacent -- warming-caused problems may be in store. But for the self-interested alarmists, this is a reason to shout down their critics.

Who knew honest Abe was also the father of the labor union?

If I were given 8 hours to chop down a tree, I would spend 6 of them sharpening my axe- Abraham Lincoln

will we never learn?

"The old parties are husks, with no real soul within either, divided on artificial lines, boss-ridden and privilege-controlled, each a jumble of incongruous elements, and neither daring to speak out wisely and fearlessly on what should be said on the vital issues of the day."

-Theodore Roosevelt, August 5th, 1912

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. --H. L. Mencken

That is all.

this week in football humor

• "I'm just sayin', one more loss and I'm not trying for anything you throw."

and from TMQ:

"Single Worst Play of the Season -- So Far: Dallas leading 17-14 in the third quarter, Jersey/A had first-and-10 on its 26. Eli Manning threw a simple flare pass to lumbering power back Brandon Jacobs, who lumbered 74 yards down the sideline for the touchdown. Jacobs isn't a speed player -- yet none of the Cowboys' speed players ever got near him. The safety on the play side was blocked by backup tight end Darcy Johnson; but free safety Alan Ball and cornerbacks Terence Newman and Mike Jenkins didn't bother to chase the play, not even appearing in the picture until Jacobs was in view of the goal line. Dallas, obviously you were out to prove that reputation for December self-destruction is no fluke. Collapse-Boys, you are guilty of the single worst play of the season -- so far.

the NFL -- the league organization, not the individual teams -- is a nonprofit! The National Football League is a money-crazed organization with revenues of about $8 billion annually; its owners and top officials buzz around in private jets; commissioner Roger Goodell has a salary of $11.2 million per year; yet officially the NFL is a nonprofit under New York State law.

first, DJ Gallo:

More football humor

"Cleveland
First, the Cavs choke in the 2009 playoffs. Second, the best two starters on the 2008 Indians start Game 1 of the 2009 World Series for two teams not named "Cleveland." Third, the Browns clean house and hire Eric Mangini, who takes that same house and sets it on fire with a flame thrower. Fourth, what could end up being LeBron's final Cavs season is distinguished early by Shaq looking like a bald Aretha Franklin and LeBron's body language occasionally lapsing into "I can't wait to find a new team; I am tired of playing with crap teammates" mode. And fifth, there are two nights of star-studded concerts to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame -- located in Cleveland, as you know -- and those concerts happen at Madison Square Garden.

Here's my question, God: What did Cleveland do to you?



Oakland
Let's say you're Shane Lechler. You are the best at what you do. You are your team's single most valuable guy. Through 11 games, you have punted 70 times for 3,633 yards (an astonishing 51.9 yards per kick). Not only are you No. 1 all-time for yards per punt (47.1), but you're also on pace to break the single-season record (51.4, held by Sammy Baugh) and become the first person to pass the 5,000-yard mark for punting yardage in one season. Why is this career year happening for you? Because, over the last six years -- and especially this season -- your franchise's ongoing incompetence allowed you to practice your craft in game situations more times than any other punter. Life is about reps, and you get an inordinate number of no-pressure, just-kick-the-ball-as-far-as-you-can reps.

Here's my question, Shane Lechler: Deep down, you kinda like being a Raider, right?

Seattle gave me one of the funniest moments of my book tour. We had stickies in each book that told me what each person's name was, only because we didn't want a situation where I thought I heard someone say, "Can you make it to Brian?" when he really said "Ryan." In Seattle, I was talking to someone when the guy behind him also put his book on the table. I grabbed what I thought was the first guy's book as he said, "Can you sign it 'F--- HOWARD SCHULTZ?'"

If you didn't know, Howard Schultz is the local Starbucks magnate who sold the Sonics to Oklahoma City businessman Clay Bennett even though everyone knew Bennett would immediately move the franchise. That's why Seattleites blame Schultz more than Bennett. Their feeling is that Bennett may have been a thief, but Schultz was the guy who left their house unlocked with the Sonics gift-wrapped along with a big sign that said "TAKE ME."

Anyway, it turns out that I had mistakenly grabbed the book of the second person in line, saw his stickie, wrote his name, then started writing "F--- Howard ..." The first guy in line noticed and said, "That's not my book; that's the guy behind me."

And the guy behind him goes, "No, no, that's fine; I was gonna ask you to write that, anyway."

The only reason they'd [the Jags] make for an interesting wild card? To see whether they could become the first NFL team to have a home playoff game blacked out."

The Talented Mr. Roto on fame and the Woods

"I don't know what went on behind closed doors, I have no authority or expertise to offer there and, speaking as someone who has gone through a divorce, I can tell you that no one knows the real story of a marriage except the two people in it.

But, there's one part of the story I am qualified to write about. Here's part of Tiger's statement that appeared on TigerWoods.com.

"But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy."

No. No, no, no, no, no, no. I can't tell you how angry this statement made me. And the fact there are so many others who seem to agree with it. Leave him alone! Well, guess what, Eldrick and the defenders of privacy? That's the gig.

.

.

.

Thanks for reading, Tiger Woods. Not that Tiger read this, but putting his name in here one more time will help the search results. Tiger, Tiger, Tiger."

I concur.

TMQ distillery

In its last two games, Cleveland has surrendered 10 points after time expired -- two scores on untimed downs following penalties.

Slow week at TMQ, really.

Monday football funnies

Mike Mulligan of the Chicago Sun-Times: after the Bears’ 36-10 loss to Minnesota: “Jay Cutler looked a lot better on Sunday than he has virtually the whole season. He didn't play all that well, mind you, but he wore a coat and tie to the interview room after the game instead of retreating further and further under a baseball cap, as he has done after most games.”

Adapted form DJ Gallo:
By kickoff of their next game one will be able to say of the NYG, "They have won once in the past 54 days." PLAYOFFS! You want to talk about PLAYOFFS? Here's to their good luck.

Plucked wholly from same:
"I don't think God is cruel enough to let Aaron Rodgers sit at home while Brett Favre is in the playoffs. No, God wants Favre to beat the Packers in the playoffs, too."

From http://www.cbssports.com:
Josh Katzowitz: With Larry Johnson and Bernard Scott combining for 194 yards rushing, injured back Cedric Benson was asked how the Bengals would divide the carries once he recovers. "That's a weird question," he said. "I wasn't aware I had to share time."

From Gregg Eaterbrook:

Mr. President -- Americans Don't Bow to Royalty! The right-wing wing-nut faction is blasting Barack Obama for bowing to His Imperial Majesty the Emperor. That's how you are supposed to address the guy; you are not supposed to speak his name, Akihito. The wing-nuts are correct in this case: Americans, do not bow before royalty! That has pretty much been our policy for the past 233 years. Only the Japanese can say why Japan should still have a royal figurehead, much less with the goofy title "emperor." The United Kingdom, the Netherlands, Sweden and other nations can say why figurehead royalty still exists. But Americans don't bow to aristocrats. Our national spirit rejects the legitimacy of inherited positions.

Local custom, you say? TMQ does not much like Dick Cheney, but when he met Akihito in 2007, they shook hands. When Norman Schwarzkopf received an honorary knighthood in 1991, he said he would do so only if he were not required to kneel, because Americans do not prostrate themselves before royalty, even the royalty of good friends. Elizabeth II gave Schwarzkopf a box containing emblems of his knighthood, then they shook hands. If Akihito had bowed back to Obama, maybe that would have been OK as local custom. (You take turns bowing in Japanese culture.) If Obama had bowed to Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama, the democratically elected leader of Japan, and Hatoyama had bowed back, that would have been fine -- Hatoyama represents the free choice of his people. For the democratically elected leader of the United States to humble himself before a royal who acquired his wealth and status entirely by accident of birth, while the "emperor" looks on smiling, is outlandish.

"is [Jamarcus] Russell the new Ryan Leaf? (In saying this, I don't mean to insult Leaf.)"

"the Broncos were 6-0 with Brett Kern as their punter, and have gone 0-4 since waiving him. The Titans were 0-6 without Kern, and are 4-0 since claiming him off waivers from Denver."

"Somehow, Bill Belichick must be behind this."

"Stats of the Week No. 5: Against the Jets, Wes Welker had more receptions and receiving yards (15, 192) than all Jets receivers combined (8, 136)."

"Adventures in Officiating: In the Washington-at-Dallas contest, there was an eight-minute stoppage in play while officials and coaches argued about whether the Redskins should be called for … delay of game."

"More Proof of the Decline of Western Civilization: "LEVI JOHNSTON'S PLAYGIRL SHOOT WAS 'FANTASTIC,' INVOLVES HOCKEY STICK." -- Actual Associated Press headline last week."

"Falcons Meet Giants; Somebody Has to Win: Atlanta at Jersey/A was a desperation game for both teams, which were 2008 playoff clubs, but entered the contest on a combined 1-7 stretch."

"It's been only four games, but if the Titans keep winning, not only will Jeff Fisher's job be saved and 2010 look bright for the franchise -- Young will earn millions of dollars for Tim Tebow. For months, NFL scouts and touts have been debating whether Tebow should be a first-round pick. Young is the NFL player most similar to Tebow; if Young's comeback continues, Tebow's stock will soar."

"Single Worst Play of the Season -- So Far: Kansas City facing third-and-5 on its 35 in overtime against defending champion Pittsburgh, the Chiefs threw down-and-out to Chris Chambers, a player San Diego actively wanted to get rid of. Chambers caught for what looked like a short gain: He was surrounded by Steelers, and the Steelers tackle better than any other NFL team. Then he started to motor up the right sideline, and Pittsburgh defenders Ryan Clark, Tyrone Carter and Super Bowl MVP James Harrison all quit on the play. Watch the tape: All three jog rather than sprint after Chambers, each assuming somebody else will get him. But wait, Kansas City tight end Leonard Pope also quit on the play -- he's on the same sideline as his teammate but makes no attempt to block or hustle into the action; he just stands there watching. Chambers himself quits on the play! Reaching the Steelers' 4, Chambers simply steps out of bounds, rather than cut back, though there's only one man left to beat. Kansas City kicked the winning field goal on the next snap, but why didn't Chambers try to get into the end zone and conclude the matter? Pittsburgh Steelers and Kansas City Chiefs, you are both guilty of the single worst play of the season -- so far."

"You're all going to be penalized. You know that, don't you? What you are doing is not allowed."

Love for the cowboys... and more

"In sociological news, TMQ's Unified Field Theory of Creep holds that not just Christmas but everything is creeping. For instance, the annual Dallas Cowboys collapse in December. On Sunday at Green Bay, in mid-November, the Cowboys collapsed -- is there now Cowboys Creep? Trailing 17-0 in the final minute, Cowboys coach Wade Phillips left his offensive starters on the field, desperately trying to avoid a shutout. There are no BCS polls and no style points in the NFL -- with a true playoff format, all that matters is W's and L's. But Phillips fears for his job. Knowing there will be an extremely unpleasant year-end performance review session with Jerry Jones, he wanted to keep "we got shut out at Green Bay" out of his file."

Going for it on fourth down is bad?
"Wake Forest took the lead by three points in overtime against Georgia Tech, then Tech faced fourth-and-1 on the Wake 6. Rather than do the conservative thing and kick a field goal, advancing to another overtime, Georgia Tech coach Paul Johnson went for it; the team converted and then scored a game-winning touchdown. No sports site was headlined, "Johnson's blunder." "


"On Monday night, trailing 16-0 on the game's final snap, Cleveland attempted a ridiculous Stanford Band play (which should now be called a Trinity of Texas play), for no apparent purpose other than to keep "we got shut out on 'Monday Night Football'" from being on the agenda at Eric Mangini's year-end performance review. In an extreme display of poor sportsmanship, Mangini called all his timeouts in the final moments, when Baltimore led by 16 and was not trying to score but just trying to exhaust the clock. The motive was protecting Mangini's résumé, and the result of the ridiculous final play was a concussion for the Browns' Josh Cribbs. Exposing players to injury on a meaningless final down, just to improve your own employment prospects, is a serious coaching offense -- the football world should be mad at Mangini, not Belichick."

Stats of the Week No. 10: The four teams in the AFC North combined to score one offensive touchdown this week.

Adams draws $250K fine from NFL

So a guy gives the finger(s) to an opposing team and gets fined a quarter of a million dollars for "conduct detrimental to the NFL".

Somehow a systematic approach to cheating is only twice as "conduct detrimental to the NFL" as this?

The NFL's priorities are way out of whack. This is the sort of decision making that makes it the No Fun League.

Dear Wally,

I'll give you a penny and a 2c. stamp; you give me 6 eggs and a quarter. We'll call it even.

Thanks again for letting me live in San Diego.

Thanks to DJ Gallo for the caption.

You think you know how to sharpen a knife, but you don't.

Joel Bukiewicz is serious about his knives. The video's a bit long, but near the end he has a comment about where the best knives are made that made me laugh out loud (that's LOL, for those no longer fluent in English due to texting.).

The video may take a while to load; if you're having trouble, click on the post title to go to the page at Chow.com.

High lair ee us

Read this, if you like football or humor or vampires or just want a reason to imagine me chortling happily in your ear.

Questions

A lot of people around the water cooler tomorrow will be saying, "Looks like Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre answered a lot of questions last night, huh?" I say, rather, that it looks like the Vikings asked a question, "What's your poison, NFL?" At least until December... we'll have to reexamine that question again then.

And you thought I was too into football...

US Bank == SHIT

2 bit fucking shysters.


Warning: this post is not funny. Or pleasant. Or really informative. Don't bother to read it. It's a waste of your time.


Check back later and maybe I'll have posted the more congenial vent I had planned about society's ridiculous prejudices on crime.

I got a divorce. Over a year ago. We separated the bank accounts. Over a year ago.

A couple of months later, she calls, "Hey. I'm still on the account. I don't like it. You need to handle it."

I call. They tell me I can't do anything about it: she has to do it. I tell her that. She call them. They tell her I have to do it. I go into a branch. They say it's taken care of. She calls me a couple of months later, "I'm still on the account."

It's like that fucking nightmare where she's pregnant and keeps taking the RU-486 pill, but testing positive. It won't die.

For close to a year now the scenario is: US bank tells her she's on it; tells me she's not.

This month she calls and tells me she closed it. I immediately call the bank (fuckers) and they assure me that nothing's changed and they have no idea what she's talking about. Lying FUCKERS!

I go on about my life.

Today: that account is gone.

*Poo-motherfucking-oof!*

Like that.

I've been banking there since 1993. I've only ever had a bank account at one other bank. Fuck 'em. If they do not reinstate for me immediately upon phoning them, they're done with my measly middle class income. I'll take it somewhere else. All $2000 in my accounts. That'll show those fuckers at UnitedShitheads Bank.






FUCKING FUCKERS.

Stupid CAPSLOCK!

Damnned athletes and their drugs!

America, Fuck Yeah!

I know the Fourth was yesterday, but most any day is a good day to not be stuck living in some other country:

Poem for Mr. Love (not to be confused with Dr. Love... yet)

The story of Schroedinger's cat (an epic poem)

Ganked from here.

God works in mysterious ways

-From PostSecret
Look, I found a use for right justification!^

Zombie and the Brain...

...have been using this, to [devastating] effect, for years:

Porn even pops can get behind.

“The silo shuddered slightly as the first lick of flame ran up its cool steel exterior. The flickering reflection of the fire played lightly across its visage, the girders moaning deeply in response. Its once firm metal walls buckled in response to the explosion’s increasing pressure, giving outward almost imperceptibly at first, and then expanding–ever faster–until they couldn’t help but burst. A hot shower of steel blossomed in the crisp morning air like a flower blooming at the first touch of sun. The ground rippled in response, as a horse bucks against the controlling pressure of its rider. When it was over, the silo was spent; replete and empty like a newborn babe. Yearning to be rebuilt and filled again and again with more destructible, flammable materials.”

via Cracked.com

Jeff Macgregor says:

"... excepting Tiger Woods, and Zombie Favre: Quarterback King of the Forever Undead -- nothing much in this world is absolute. Nothing much is forever. And nothing at all is exactly as we imagine it to be."


Can you tell which one is he and which is Brett:




Based on that comparison, I'm willing to believe he has some insight into what's going on in Favre's head. After all, he looks at in a mirror every 6 days or so when he shaves.

Seriously?

O internet, thou art mighty in your perversity...

Click on the post title, if you're having trouble reading it. Or if you want to know what anonymous has to say about it.

So funny, it doesn'y matter if it's fake

Now I know what to get.

This will be the perfect gift for my folks.

I had a dream, too.

So vivid a dream that I could smell it when I woke up in the middle of the night for official evacuations - but not when I woke for work.

One for my mom

I love you, mom:

Confirmaiton

Your dire prediction of impending domination at the hands of Danish building blocks may not be too far-fetched, sir. For I present unto you...

...LEGO Rock Band:

alignment

If you ever find a use for using right justify, please let me know.
Just kidding, I don't really want to know.
OK, maybe I do.
Hard to say,
really.

Don't worry about Skynet, it's Legos that are taking over

No!

This cannot be worth the dogs' time:

I'm looking at you

You know who you are. I'm betting your loved ones will be getting you this for Christmas, er Channukah.

Scroll to the last...

This post is really only for Zombie and Thumper. Really. No one else will care. Most won't even get it. nLink.

Pregnant women are smug

I probably could have said it better, but I almost certainly would not have said it cuter: Pregnant Women Are Smug.

The Sound of Crickets

Hello?

Is there anybody out there?

Anybody?

Bueller? Bueller?

Whew!

It looks like the boy made it to the helipad ahead of the zombies.




Now where is that damned helicopter?

I'm hungry

Hungry.

Famished, even.

I ate dinner a couple of hours ago. I could do it again.

I've been like this for a couple of weeks, now. Hungry all of the time. Craving food. Any food.

OK, not any food, but not specifically junk food, or salty food, or any of those other "normal" cravings. Nope, I just want to eat. and eat. and eat.

Maybe I'll ask the doctor if I have a tapeworm when I see her next month.

You just really cannot tell about people

Sometimes people surprise you. well, me anyway. I've been spending a lot of my time not looking at lowest common denominator internet lately. Instead I've been reading the news where lower than the lowest is on display.

I find it depresses, angers me and it stirs up huge swells of frustrated impotence.

Then I come across this, and all is... sad, but better. Somehow. Some wheres, some whens, people do the right thing.



Also, if anyone can get an entire high school cheer squad to come to my funeral in full uniform, I'd be mighty grateful.

I'm looking at you, boom and pedro. Ask buckaroo if you need tips on talking females into doing things they wouldn't normally do in public.

On the subject of stimulus planning...

Can I sue, too?

Donna Barstow is uncomfortable in her art, this week:



And who can blame her after the thrashing Sean Delonas took for this:



I was so stoked, since that particular image showed up in conjunction with a story about the Post's [thoroughly, ridiculously, unnecessary] apology I found while looking for a copy of the original cartoon to post here. I thought they had grown a set of Weevil-sized brass ones and reprinted the cartoon as the front page of their newspaper. Alas, this is a screen shot of the Post's web page for the artist's most current comic. Oh, well.

Of course it hasn't ended for him, as David Harsanyi points out here.

Let's hear it for the grandfather clause!

Well, shit. Maybe my mom's right.. er, correct. There's no doubt about her being "right".

More

On the Mark Cuban Stimulus Plan:

Then there was the guy who asked him to buy the Detroit Lions.

And this:
"Mark,

I just love your heart!!

I also love our Mavs!

Brenda
Gainesville"

Stimulate this

Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks basketball team, has pledged to possibly inject some of his own capital into the economy.

Great Idea on his part, I think. If more of the richest 10% would do it, they'd get richer and President Obama wouldn't have to raid my pants pockets to get us out of this.

That being said, I have nothing for Mr. Cuban. Reading the replies (where the Ideas are to be posted) Resulted in this funny exchange:

"SVI HAS SUCCESSFULLY GAINED AN OPPORTUNITY TO BUILD INTERNATIONALLY,
HAVING RECEIVED A COMMITMENT FOR $1.25 BILLION DOLLARS, HAVING
EXPANDED OPPORTUNITIES FOR POTENTIALLY $40 BILLION DOLLARS, YET WITH
THE CURRENT FINANCIAL SWING IN NORTH AMERICAN, WE ARE HAVING
DIFFICULTIES IN RECEIVING SEED/SUPPORT FUNDS ALLOWING US TO GO
FORWARD WITH ALREADY COMMITTED GOVERNMENT FUNDS TO SECURE THE CONTRACT

WE ARE PRESENTLY LOOKING FOR INVESTORS TO ALLOW US TO GET PAST THE
INITIAL HURDLES. THIS PROJECT WILL RE-EMPLOY THOUSANDS OF TRADESMEN
AND PROVIDE HUGE DOLLARS IN SUPPLIES, GENERATING 75% OF COMMITMENT TO
THE LOCAL ENVIRONMENT.

THANK YOU AND HOPE TO HEAR FROM SOMEONE SOON.

From Mark Cuban> Let me guess, its in Nigeria ?"

And, several hundred posts in, the first Idea Mr. Cuban likes. It's a super duper people counter for service industries.

Second Idea he likes is flea markets in closed down big box store parking lots.

Oooh, the SVI group claims that it is not a scam. Too long to post here, though, click on the link and search for SVI, if you really want to know. The short of it is that it is in Africa, but they claim it's legit all the same.

Then there's this exchange:

"Online typing, spelling and sentence construction lessons for bloggers.

From MC> What about humor lessons for commentors ?

Comment by Eric Barbaric — February 10, 2009 @ 11:06

Then there's this:
"

Congratulations:

You’ve just created the worst venture capital company in the world.

The people that invested $500K in our startup and spent 8 years in R&D would quite literally shoot me if I pusued this funding arrangement. Lets see:

1. Give away your idea to the world
2. Sign a crappy disclosure/funding agreement
3. Sign away control

As you look back in the history of technology or business I challange you to offer one example where this kind of approach was successful. Every founder who represented his initial investors by agreeing to terms like this is where he/she belongs … broke and nowhere."

He goes on to suggest that Mr. Cuban give his money to the government instead of directly to entrepreneurs. Mr. Cuban replies:

From MC> Actually, if I was someone that gave you a nickel, I would be pissed that you even had a second of time to be reading and responding to blogs rather than busting your ass and eating, sleeping and breathing your business with the single goal of making it profitable and paying me and other investors our money back. So , no , I wont reconsider

I'll end here and start another post for the next group.

How do you spell fear?

This, from Financial Week's website, my less conservative friends might say, doesn't:

Congress will consider legislation to extend some of the curbs on executive pay that now apply only to those banks receiving federal assistance
-House Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank.


When he says this, on the other hand, it should scare even them:
"the compensation restrictions would apply to all financial institutions and might be extended to include all U.S. companies."

All?

This sets off the weevils in my conspiracy theory sub-brain and now I'm scared.

Well that's exciting.

200 prominent (who decides that?) economists signed a brief letter on behalf of the CATO institute which. The CATO institute then put a full page ad in several publications. Here's the story that goes with the letter.




While using the search string "with+all+due+respect+mr+president+that+is+not+true", I shit you not, I found this:




Also a very nice image, but affects a slightly different part of the weevil in me.

Brainweevil.com

I'm working on a new website. If you get here from www.brainweevil.com already, you've noticed the change. If not, you may want to start doing it that way, just in case it takes over for this.

In other news, life is really, really damned good. Thank you for asking. I think the website is going to be a lot of fun.

Zombie: Think about it in terms of CTCGs, in addition to books, music, and movies. That's the new thought I had today. Shhhh. Don't tell anyone. It's a secret.

Kids are cute

I finally get it!

PETA gets it right!

Sort of.

From the Orlando Sentinel:

"PETA has withdrawn an offer to televise an anti-dogfighting public service announcement with Michael Vick after his release from prison.

The organization said Wednesday that an agreement was reached with Vick's representatives to shoot the spot, but that Vick's attorneys sought assurance from PETA the group would support Vick's return to the NFL."

That starts us out ok. Vick was to do a spot in apparent contrition and as part of his redemption for PETA. Then he goes all... human on us and wants to know what's in it for him, RIGHT NOW.

So PETA says, "Bugger off." (Don't you know that all western commies sound a bit British?)

I'm heartened at first - perhaps there's a connected set of synapses at PETA. Then they go on:

"Saying sorry and getting his ball back after being caught enjoying killing dogs in hideously cruel ways for many years doesn't cut it," said PETA President Ingrid E. Newkirk. "Commissioner Goodell knows that he has an obligation to the league and to millions of fans, including children who look up to ballplayers as idols, to make sure that Michael Vick is mentally capable of remorse before he can touch, let alone wear, an NFL uniform again."

This is more like it, PETA. Let your lunatic heart bleed with a sound of inanity lacking anything resembling a realistic world view. Goodell has an "obligation" all right; an obligation to ensure that he keeps as much money flowing into the NFL as possible.

What the hell does being "mentally capable of remorse" have to do with playing football, anyway?

And wouldn't it be emotional capability, anyway? I ask because I'm not so good with the non-sociopathic.

So much for that.

"Change you can believe in"? How about "Change a monkey could have predicted"?

Is this really the best way to start our new world? Fear mongering one day after the nation celebrated a moment in black history and pundits declared that we are all, finally, equal?

(not that the gays are fooled)

It's just the same old human nature: those in power abusing those in their power.

We've traded one group of fringe wackos for a different mob from the other side of the spectrum. Make no mistake about it, though - they're still wackos.

I am so angry I cannot see straih staaigh streadh atraight straight to typo type.

Fuck it, I'm going to bed.

Take a deep breath.

Hold it. Ok, do you feel calm, now?

If you're one of my non-conservative dears, you can go back to your regularly scheduled programming. Or enjoy some laughs at the fear of my conservative friends and family.

So,
There's a viral story going around from some commies, er... liberals on LiveJournal about the FOGCC. It's all a lie. Read it carefully. The little signs of a hoax are all there.

It's a hoax, I'm sure you'll see that after reading a couple of these. It's War of the Worlds, all over again. This time with gun owners being attacked by the big, bad government and much cooler technology for spreading the fear.

I feel your fear. If I owned guns, I too would be fearful. Be sensible, though. Even if a great gun grab is going to happen, it will be very gradual and not crescendo until at least 2012.


Please, please don't call me at some ungodly hour of the morning in a panic.

Please?

DUCK!

It what's for dinner.

Hope springs...

I got married again on Tuesday.

That probably should have been posted earlier this week, but I've been rather busy with the honeymoon; which, for us, is really just doing all of the things I cannot put here because my pornography license has been revoked - only more.

Did I mention that the woman I married is the smartest, best educated, most financially stable and mature woman I've ever known?


That notwithstanding, this is a picture of the dresser by the bed I refused to mention before:




I hereby wish myself well. Feel free to join me in that, and hoping this time it comes off much, much more successfully... particularly on the long term ongoing front.

Oh, and if you want to buy a pony, I can make you a crack deal.

Who says fashion doesn't matter?

Went to Sears to return a broken tool. Talking to the guy
(Really clean cut kid; if he were knocking on my front
door, I'd have worried that he'd come to save my soul.)I
became distracted and said, "...and apparently you have
cute girls running through your store. I'm sorry I was
here at this moment to keep you from seeing that." His
mouth gaped. Just like a fish out of water and he turned
a most impressive shade of red.

Dinner was Greek. They had live music. The usual: one guy,
microphone, acoustic guitar, folksy sounding music... until
I arrived. Our server looks at me and says, "He's going to
play 'Cowboys from Hell', next." While looking at the
guitarist. I blinked a couple of times and realized he was
looking at the band named on my shirt. I replied, "I'd
prefer 'Broken'. Think that would sound nice on the
acoustic." We had a good laugh and the guy went away.
Something odd happened, though. The guy was playing folksy
music I didn't recognize right off, when we got there, but
the first song I did recognize was after my date started
humming along and I asked, "You recognize that?" and she
said, "Yeah. It's 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds'." About
this time, he had a bass player join him. Next he played
"Done with the night"; Cougar, but harder than the other
stuff. Then he stopped and asked, "Where's the guy who wants
to hear Pantera?" I raised my hand, belatedly, since I
wasn't paying a lot of attention to anything not immediately
at my table. (I'm proud to be an American) He continued,
"Security! Can we get some security in here?" I laughed
good nature-dly and went back to my date. Then I heard the
bass player playing the intro to 'Walk' and the guy says,
"I'd love to play it , really, but I don't know it." Which
was OK with me, since just the intro was quite out of place
for the setting and the set. The next song, though, was
"Wish You Were Here", followed by "Turn the Page",
"Going to California", and "Black". The whole tone of the
guy's set had suddenly changed.

I was pleased.

The place cleared out.

Oops. Sorry `bout that.